Hey bloggies.
I was writing in my journal the other day and I found it very relevant to the blog. It’s very rough, kinda rambles, but it’s my raw writing from my journal.
It frusterates me how I get so mad at my family. I get frusterated about their diets and they way they live.
It’s like how shopping at a regular supermarket frustrates me. Going through the interior aisles full of frozen meals, weight loss supplements and diet shakes. American wants to get slim, but do we want to actually get healthy? We want a quick fix to weight losss and not truly learn about properly fueling our bodies.
I feel like my family reflects America. Sometimes my family asks me to prepare certain “health food” meals. It’s nice that they like the meal I make, but they don’t wat to learn why its healthy and why it is better than processed foods. I don’t understand why people don’t want to learn how to stay slim, how to give your body energy, how to have youthful skin and longevity. Everybody wants those things, but they don’t want to actually learn it.
Sure, some people aren’t interested in the subject, but I hope they are not buying Jillian Michael’s products because it shows that they are interested in their bodies.
I know that my family is interested. Series of crash diets, excitement when one reaches a normal BMI and extreme exercise show that they care about their bodies appearance.
I just want to live in peace with people. To not be criticized about the food I eat and not hear complaining about how you are fat even htough you don’t move through out the day and stuff your body full of cake.
Right now I feel like I can’t find that peace. Students are very critical of my no-top ramet diet, my family is critical of my preservative-free food and I’m afraid the sorority is going to be the worst. I’ve had a few runs in with girls that laughed at my woes of the food served. They say that everyone gains weight, so suck it up. Well, in addition to the probable weight gain, I also get very sick. I seriously just want peace.
It’s hypocritical that I’m asking for peace about my eating while I am so critical of how other people eat. I really need to step back and change my way of thinking. Do I continue to educate my family about eating healthy? Or do I just let them eat what their families have always eaten even though it has led to heart disease time after time?
How do you deal with eating healthy in your family?
Sorry to hear this Michelle, but props for sticking to your ideals. We cannot change the way others eat, but we can be a great influence to them. If they see that no, we aren’t going to falter and give in to processed/preservative filled foods, then maybe something will click for them as well and let you be.
You are absolutely right about others wanting a quick fix and not wanting to LEARN. Education is very important in terms of healthy (we all know that), but hopefully you can teach them and advocate for this lifestyle.
I am lucky that my family is grasping healthy living just as I am. It wasn’t overnight though. They slowly became adjusting things here and there and aren’t perfect. Neither am I for that matter, but we are trying. I guess that’s all that matters.
I know I can’t change the way my hubby eats so I don’t bother trying. I can steer the kids a bit more, but only so far. I hope that by seeing me eat healthy, they will at least have the know how when they’re ready. We can only stick to our guns and lead by example, right?
Oh my goodness, I love this entry. Honestly Michelle, I think this is how most of us feel with our families. Believe it or not, but we’re the anomaly out there.. we’re the WEIRD ones for our lifestyle choices. I agree everyone wants a fix but they don’t want to learn WHY it is the way things should be.
Be strong, keep doing your thing, and don’t let others get you down.
I’m dealing with something similar. I’m afraid that once I go back to school and live with my 3 close friends, they’ll criticize me and make fun of the way I live and eat. They know I’m vegan, but they don’t know the extent of my healthy eating and living lifestyle. I want to feel comfortable and peaceful, not criticized for living a life that nourishes and fulfills me. I hope we both find peace.
Great thoughts, Michelle. I can relate completely. My mom is very open to what I eat and always loves to try and is very interested in the whys and what. I can’t say she’s sold to whole grains (she hates them) but she still wants to try. And she loves “that squiggly stuff” (quinoa, haha) and is always requesting it. And eggplant! Her boyfriend, however, is always stressing me out. I won’t get into it. I used to be really uptight at work, too – but everyone’s actually started being really interested there, too. So – I agree. Sometimes it seems so frustrating. Lately I’ve finally just decided that the desire to be healthy isn’t as strong for others as it is for me. Seems crazy when it’s so enjoyable to ME – but then I look at it like this…the way they were raised was completely different. My boss’s wife, for instance, is always talking about loving decadent cakes, chocolate, cookies, etc. etc. She’s also always talking about “needing to go on a diet,” and sees skipping lunch so she can eat a big dinner as acceptable, and I always get very inquisitive questions – usually somewhat snide – if she happens to be there while I’m eating. (that said – if she’s there, I usually wait until she leaves, lol.)
I am now realizing that this is a mish-mosh of random thoughts…lol. Sorry about that…but in short – I feel your frustration!
Oh wow, you echoed my statements.
I hate being criticized about how I eat… no, I hate being told what to eat and when people make comments that my food is ‘healthy’ and ‘diet-ish’.
They say that she’s on a diet when I just want to convey to them that I LIKE eating veggies and lean cuts of meat and fruit and my tastebuds dont like cake as much. (I went on a veggie spree before i went to NYC and I was surprised to see that my tastebuds didnt like the cake and ice cream as much as it liked glorious vegetables).
And Michelle, I believe that you’ll do fine in the sorority. With your ideals, it’s going to be good.
P.S.- I’ve de-lurked
I feel very self-conscious when people think of my eating as “diet-ish” too. What is funny is that diet originally means “a way of life.” My way of life is healthy. My body craves whole grains and vegetables too. Some people
P.S. I’m glad you came out of lurking
I hear ya! Luckily my husband and kids are starting to get on board with me. It feels so good to be asked to cook healthy foods and how they are all interested in how food makes you feel better. Even my kids are looking at packaging now and putting things back on the shelf when they see high fructose corn syrup or a list of ingredients they can’t pronounce. It feels so good to have them understand and really take an interest in there own help! It will be harder with your family. Some people like the idea of health, but just don’t want to put forth the effort to be healthy. It takes time and understanding to get to that point. I have friends that ask me questions about how to make things healthier and then make horrible choices anyway. It is so frustrating! I wish there was an answer…I just don’t think there is.
That is so great that you can influence your kids! You are a great role model to them.
I can totally see how that would be frustrating! My family is pretty active and healthy, but my bf doesn’t have the healthiest of habits (although he’s getting a lot better). It’s hard to know how to be helpful and encouraging without nagging or just being totally annoying!
I loved reading this – I could really relate. I have a really hard time getting my dad to eat healthier! I’ve pretty much given up on trying to change his eating habits. My mom eats more like me, but I hate how she puts the emphasis on being skinny instead of healthy. She’s really image obsessed. And sometimes she’ll get really critical of the way I eat and scoff at my healthy ways because she thinks I’m constantly dieting. Just because I eat lots of veggies doesn’t mean I’m on a diet!
Image obsession is so hard. I feel like my mom always does a once over of my outfits before I go anywhere.
i loved this post- so honest & open. I know exactly what you mean nad how you feel & i have the same concerns because i am living in my sorority this year!! The thing i’ve realized though is that i’m going to do my thing & that is all htat matters- if it makes me happy, then i’m good. I’m also going to try not to put food on a pedestal so much- honestly, its just food. It is nourishment. I want to eat healthy this year and maintain my weigh t(which i do believe is possible) but i don’t want to let my anxieties about the food i’m going to be eating dictate my year either. I know you will make it work- and as far as other people go, usually people have to realize it on their own (as annoying/frustrating as that is). You just do your thing
you’re a great role model for others & maybe some people will actually learn something!
I totally agree that the secret to living in the sorority house and keeping healthy is not letting any food anxieties affect me. Treat it like nourishment and we should be find
well girl…i’ve been there too…for the past 2 years..in a small high school sticking out like a sore-thumb. and untill now i let people tear me down. i am who i am because i love the way i feel when i eat healthy!…i also love health food! it’s a choice we make…people have to except me, i put my self WAY out there…dont’ get me started on food..i will preach for hours about health! lol…i say don’t let them bother you….in the long run- you’re the healthier one who knows what she’s doing..if they’re going to be rude about it…they’re missing out on knowing an awesome and smart girl who knows how to be healthy.. although my family has changed with eating like i have (they have their induldgence of course) but they understand who i am and what i want to put into my body. just be who you are and you will find friends out there who will love you for who you are, no matter how you eat…i know i found more friends being who i am.
stay strong and be who you are and want to be….you’ll be my friend no matter what you eat! ((and you eat some pretty snazzy stuff girl!!))
You can never change other people but you can change how you react to them. Try not to let people get to you and know that you are doing what works for you. Live by example and answer questions when asked. We can’t force healthy habits on people. They won’t stick. It’s definitely frustrating though.
I totally understand how you feel. I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 10 and because of that my parents still think that they need to make comments on the food I eat and the size that I am. I am currently 20 years old and have been in recovery for a year. I wish that my family could get to a place where we dont judge each others foods. I mean, I dont judge my brother when he eats 10 chocolate chip cookies in a sitting, but he judges me when I choose to eat lots of veggies, fruits, and whole grains. I mean, I am getting my calories I just do it with lower calorie foods in large portions. I am so glad that you posted this because I also go back to school tomorrow and I am very worried about how this year will go with food and judgments from others on how I choose to fuel my body!! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!
I can relate to this so much. My family (for the most part) eats very unhealthfully and it makes me so upset to sit back and watch. My brother and sister think nothing of sitting in front of the TV with chips and queso dip for hours on end. My mom eats healthfully herself but she still buys junk food for them, and even if she didn’t I know my brother would go out and just get it himself. It is SO frustrating, but I just try to lead by example because I know if I preach to them about a healthy lifestyle they will just get annoyed and not what anything to do with it.
Living in my sorority house was a lot easier than I thought… and if someone makes a comment about your food then be confident enough to tell them that this is what you like to eat and why do they care in the first place?! Shelley wrote a great post on this recently. We should be proud of being healthy, not ashamed! Good luck with everything
Michelle,
Ugh, I cannot stand when people make comments about what I eat or don’t eat. They tell me I am skinny, so what is the big deal? LIke you said, it is not so much about gaining weight it is about not being sick or feeling like shit.
My family is tolerant of my food choices (they weren’t when I was living at home) but they still give me funny looks when I get fish/veggies or a big salad at a restuarant. I honestly just ignore it. I’m lucky that I have a husband and a few close friends who do not comment on my food choices. I spend most of my time with them!
I get so frustrated that my dad and Ali eat crap but I had to stop stressing about it! I find that they slowly become more open to my way of eating when I leave them alone but if I address something with them then they get totally defensive!
My family also gets very defensive. I told them that eating lots of fruits and veggies and cutting out highly processed foods could help prevent cancer, and my sister responded that deodorant and sunscreen cause cancer. It’s very frustrating.
I couldn’t agree with you more. As a dietician I see everyday people who want to loose something like 20 pounds in 20 days. Or to be like a model until the end of summer.
And the sad thing is that when I tell them that the healthy way is to loose weight gradually, they freak out and tell me that they want strict diets. I ve lost a lot of clients because I refused to give them fad diets and tips.
Really good post dear
That’s so sad that people really just don’t “get” it and you lose them as clients! Some people…
Pingback: Family Bonds «
Michelle,
It’s so hard when your family/roommates eat differently than you do! I wish I had the will to take control of my diet while I was still in college. My sorority’s cook made some excellent food but it was served in way too big of portions and there were way more carbs, fats, and desserts than any healthy girl needs! I was routinely sick due to the foods I was eating! Since graduating, I’ve done a complete 180 and have complete control over what I will eat.
Living with people who don’t share my food lifestyle was hard at first but you get used to it. I just by my own food and prepare my own meals. Do you have a cook at your sorority? I’d just ask him/her what can be done to make sure that there are options that you can eat. Discuss the challenges that certain foods create for you and see what can be done to help you out! In the end, you’ll find some kind of arrangement that works. For the girls who don’t understand, let them gain their college wait and enjoy being healthy for yourself. If you’re not making them eat your food, why should they care so much?
Good luck! -kelsey